Being naive, gullible and mentally slow when starting secondary school has been proven to make life difficult for kids naturally conditioned in this manner. It is important to remember at the ages between 10-14 children who are much sharper and wittier are still developing their social skills. This means they struggle to grasp the serious impact of descriptive language they express towards other people. However, such malicious language and actions beyond the age of 14 towards others though is out of order and such characters must be clamped down.
There is no doubt the low self-esteem caused by bullying has severely affected my life in many ways.
- Lack of sociability
- Lack of assertiveness and eye-contact when speaking to someone
- Regular loss of interest in people’s lives, interests and conversations
- Easily feeling nervous and uncomfortable around people you lack familiarity with
- Bursts of frustration and anger being let out after being built up for too long
If you are a child between 10-18 (or a parent/friend) reading this and you believe you are genuinely being bullied, please contact the following:
It is important for children to notify others such as schoolteachers and fellow pupils (only those they genuinely trust) of such malicious behaviour.
Once action has been taken against this offending pupil however, it is absolutely vital that the victim takes action themselves to stay above these bullies. Such actions may include:
- Martial arts classes
- Joining a club in an environment where they can trust the people there
- Meet a therapist to speak about socialising issues
- Go to a socialisation learning class (if it does exist)
- Speak with their parents about how interact better
- Have a conversation with fellow pupils they trust about socialising issues
Steps to improve their self-esteem:
- They need to be encouraged to focus on their strengths as characters (and think away from their weaknesses)
- They need to learn how to speak in what I call ‘positive talk’, where intimidating characters deliberately criticise their weaknesses. The victims should respond back by focusing on their own positive traits and stand up to their tyranny by questioning their demeanour and aggressive attitude
- An improvement in posture and an ability to learn how to relax in such situations are also important for a kid to learn how to ward off bullying characters
- Unfortunately, extreme characters may decide to severely disrespect fellow students who refuse at all costs to behave in the same rude and disgusting manner they do. If so, the victim may need to learn some street language in order to show that they are aware of the rougher environments they tend to avoid (but simultaneously refuse to join such a culture)
- You may also be known for ‘dozing off’. This means they routinely fail to realise bad situations that may occur in compromising situations (i.e if they sit on a pavement and start playing on their phone or game consoles without looking to see who may be walking past them). It may be necessary for the victim to start asking someone to hang around with them more regularly when they decide to walk outdoors, so they learn things such as how not to get pick-pocketed etc.
It quite frankly is terribly important for a kid to realise after having reported for being bullied, teachers may be reluctant to tell why they are being bullied due to political correctness. This stems from the kid may possibly be overweight, lacks good personal hygiene or speaks in an unnecessarily exaggerated manner.
It is therefore very important for this kid to realise that this sort of problem is actually not truly acceptable in spite of what teachers may say.
These problems must be addressed NOW.
You must also realise hard work is the only way to deal with such issues. If it means trying to pull slightly strange social experiments where further teasing ensues, so be it. However, it is advisable to learn to gain sympathy of the more respectable students and if they ask you to come to their house or a party, take as a compliment. Do not be negative by thinking, “They’re only asking me to come because they feel sorry for me.”
You must learn to develop a thick skin to what people say about you behind your back. You must realise the jests they may aim at you (especially amongst the more respectable students) could make you a better person if you learn to take it on the chin.
If it truly helps, learn some positive slogans: ( L A S E R )
- L- Learn everyday about your weaknesses and how to use your strengths to protect hem
- A- Analyse your surroundings. The bullies may appear disinterested for a second, but if you turn away they could catch you out
- S- Smile at your worst enemies. Show them you are not intimidated by weak and cowardly behaviour
- E- Express your positive traits. Realise that using these traits will gain respect, which is more important than what can be a shallow concept of ‘popularity’
- R- Reach your targets. If you improve your social skills and gain respect of others who may not like you, feel ready to move onto the next aspect of your life
One day, if you reach college or sixth form and see a younger child being bullied, please offer to allow yourself to talk to them for just fifteen minutes.
———Those fifteen minutes could save a life.———–