Analysis of a snob

“I hate football so much. It’s just load of chavs swearing all the time and thinking they’re hard one minute, then falling over the next!

I hate socialising. Most people simply talk rubbish and celebrity gossip! I would never want to go any house party or nightclub, they’re all shit!

Drugs should not be legalised! You cannot treat people like responsible adults because most of the human population are like children!”

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Remember the kid who could only be described as a toff?

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When I entered sixth form, I “befriended” this sort of gentleman.

Our friendship group regularly played on his weaknesses. At no point could it be seen as bullying because collectively we resented having a bigoted friend who was rude, conceited and prejudiced to anything popular or working-class.

Sadly, he suffered from a type of manic depression which caused him to suffer from having ten different people regularly talking to him inside his head.

He was a short, plump figure (5’5″) and he was not athletic.

He was prone to fits of rage and seen by others as an aggressive character whose wrath they were wary of crossing.

He took pride in his knowledge of science and mathematics, but took further joy in drawing anime-style cartoons.

He once asked a couple of close female friends to flash their breasts on webcam when he was 15.

After leaving a plateglass university, he found work as a Marks and Spencers stockroom worker but this proved temporary and left after three months. It appears he is currently unemployed, having been laid off along with other graduates.

The moral of this tale? Don’t be a snob.

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